. Just a Little Bit of Everything .

This is meaningless, really.

2012-02-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

Umar treated us to lunch at an Arabic restaurant where I happened to bump into the guy whom F likes.

The devil inside me prompted me to send her provocative texts. >:D

Me: Umar bwk kitorg pegi mkn kat kedai arab then ada S. Dia nampak Nisah, dia angkat tgn dia n intai2 Nisah dtg ngan sape. I am liking S, again. :3

F: Nisah busuk.

Me: <3

F: I don't like u..tanak kawan

Me: I like myself. and S. :P

F: Tanak kawan.nt dia suke nisah.dahla nisah lg comei dr F :(

Me: It's not like I can choose who to like and who's not. It's what my heart dictates. and it just happens. :P

F: i hate u

Me: It doesn't matter. :P

She is too cute and it's a waste to not messing up with her.

Poor girl. I shall repent and admit to her tomorrow. haha ~~Or perhaps later on :P.~~

Hey girl, knowing me..you should know that he's not the kind of guy I always find myself get attracted to. ;)

And honestly, I think it's good for you for having those kind of feelings. Without that どきどき feelings, my current life is too dull.

++++

Anyway this morning I attended a public lecture at Plenary Theatre, KLCC with DJ, Lian Chee and my two fellow Nigerian lab mates, Umar and Mariamu.

"Can Hybrid Rice Avert Food Crisis?" by Professor Yuan LongPing, the winner of 2011 Mahathir Science Award. Prior to that was a talk on "Predicting Winners" by Dr. Woei Fuh Wong.

Very insightful. :)

Science is a fashion. It evolves.

Tell me what life is.

2012-01-30T16:56:00.000+08:00

So Statistics & Research Methodology paper, which admittedly isn't my forte has ruined my CGPA.

I am an exam-oriented person, hence all the reason why I can get veryy upset with my results.

People would argue how I should be satisfied with whatever I got as in comparison with others.

But hey, I am not comparing mine with anyone else's. When it comes to academics, I have my own idea regarding what is up to par and what isn't.

Still, I am not taking platitudes of achievements that seriously either.

It is just that the stress has finally taken its toll on me. Two days straight I ended up crying in the lab. Haha.

How am I supposed to feel now? ばか me.

I am Sherlocked.

2012-01-25T19:12:00.000+08:00

Fantastic weekend break - meeting up with Umai, Aza and Nani.

Yumna came to visit.

Took the two kids out to the beach.

Catching up on Sherlock series.

A family lunch at the resort.

And read a book, although I couldn't finish it. XD

Sadly the break was just a short one.

Oh well.. :)

| Case closed |

2012-01-16T21:05:00.001+08:00

Maybe esokla tunang akak settle sebab gaji arini kan..ok la cpt sket cian awak.

Akak minta maaf bbyk n kesalla apa yg jadi nisa ea.hrp nisa xda dndam kat akak.

Akak, you are willing to pay for my car is actually more than good enough. ;_;

I am thankful that I didn't encounter those irresponsible ones. Really.

May the Force be with you, akak & tunang akak.

Shall get my car tomorrow.

Everything will be good, hopefully! ^^

2012-01-16T01:07:00.000+08:00

And did those whispers have a name?

Moriarty.

What a day

2012-01-14T02:36:00.002+08:00

Tiring day after a stressful exam.

Picked Aimi at the KTM station.

Went to Alamanda.

Stopped for a red light and someone smashed my car from the back.

Yes, a car smashed mine.

Clueless of what's happening at first.

Then realized someone hit my car.

My very first car accident. And I was the one driving.

Clueless of what to do.

The first thing, I called Fana.
Because she's the closest, not just in term of location.

Too scared to tell Umi but I still did afterwards..because well, she's my mum.

And texted Zamri, for unknown reason, honestly.

I didn't even know what to do.

Received phone calls from Abah and Umi.

And Zamri.
Normally, I'd cry in an instant.

I guess I was too shocked.

I am, even now.

Settled everything and went for dinner, since I haven't had my lunch yet.

It was 9.30 pm.

Barely ate, and I didn't even know what made me suggest we watched the movie after that.

I guess all I ever want was for them to stay with me for a while.

I didn't watch the movie though, sleep in the cinema after the first 30 minutes.

Then went home, like nothing ever happened.

The only thing I know now is..my car is a wreck. :'(

And sitting here now, it kinda hit me slowly. :'(

Wishing that today was just a nightmare.

The only exception.

2012-01-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

Maybe I know, somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways

To make it alone

Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm content

With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

The problem with not liking anyone is...you start having a crush on everyone who is smart, cool and awesome. XD

Up, up we go~

2012-01-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

I am not a fan of getting all sweaty, but nevertheless Broga Hill was fun.

Fana, Ain and me were assigned to prepare the breakfast, so we managed to sleep for only one hour since we were required to go there as early as 4 a.m to catch the sunrise.

Seeing these views in person definitely made the sleepy and tiring journey worth it. :)

Pictures credit to Fana and Tiqah.

Picnic and BBQ afterwards were really fun too.

Arrived home later that day, caught up on sleep debt only to wake up with pain all over my body, and that ain't fun anymore. XD

Part of educating yourself is familiarizing yourself both sides of an issue (Jd-, DCTP).

2012-01-10T10:00:00.000+08:00

I loathe how unproductive and lazy I am these days.

Can someone please knock some sense into me?

X_X

2012-01-10T09:13:00.000+08:00

You are not any less different than them.

Sad thing is, I thought you were.

PhD thingy to ponder

2012-01-08T16:12:00.000+08:00

Do think about whether you really want to do a PhD. Being a PhD student is NOT the same as being an undergrad, nor like working as a research assistant. A PhD is extremely hard work requiring a lot of discipline and dedication. Don't just start a PhD because it's the line of least resistance.
Do choose yr supervisor well. The quality of yr supervisor will have a direct impact on how much you get out of yr PhD and how good (or bad) an experience it is. Don't choose yr PhD supervisor because he/she is the leader in his/her field, in fact that's the most likely way to find a bad supervisor. Talk to the PhD students already working in the lab, find outwhether they are happy and get information about the supervisor's personality, level of attention (too much/too little) and how well they plan their projects.
‎Don't leave the responsibility for your project to others. Don't leave it to your supervisor to tell u how to work, what to read or plan yr project. This is yr learning experience. Get involved and take responsibility as early as possible.
Do get support from other PhD students. When things get tough, the only people who can understand what u are going through are other PhD students (or former ones !)..If there are other PhD students around u, arrange to go for regular coffee/lunch breaks with them. If not, try an online forum (u can google them..there are a lot on the net).
‎DON'T waste your 1st year. It is easy to think that u have a long time to complete yr PhD..but don't be lulled into a false sense of security...time has a habit of disappearing fast. Start out as you mean to go on. Establish a strict work and study routine and stick to it...you are not an undergrad anymore !
‎Don't spend long hours in the lab for the sake of it..Make sure that when you are in the lab,you are really working and NOT just hanging around. I've seen many people spend 16 hrs a day in the lab, but they only actually work for eight hours or less. An 8 hour day, with time away from the lab to relax yr body and mind will keep you sharp and focused.
Do summarize your results as you go. From the beginning, get yourself into the discipline of writing a monthly summary of experiments performed, results, comments from supervisor and conclusions + include all lab book references/data/images. The monthly reports will link up to make a story of yr research and make yr write-up much easier.
‎Don't underestimate how long it will take to write up. However long you think it will take you to write up, double or even trebling it will be closer to the truth. The write up is the hardest part of yr whole PhD....When my wife says that I have no concept of the pain and agony of childbirth, I beg to differ - A PhD is like a long uncomfortable pregnancy and the write up is the long and agonizing labor !
Do take every opportunity to PRACTICE and LEARN. Treat your PhD studies like an intensive training program. Listen to & learn from those around you, take every opportunity to try new techniques, present data, meet other scientists etc.
Do GET a LIFE...It is not all hard work and heartache. Smell the flowers as you go along, enjoy the people around you and make sure YOU HAVE SOME FUN !

- Prof. Madya Shaharum Shamsuddin, USM

Au Revoir 2011, Bonjour 2012!

2011-12-31T20:46:00.001+08:00

A Gift of Life.

2011-12-29T19:53:00.001+08:00

This is my pledge.

What's yours? :)

More info: here

"The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it makes some difference that you have lived at all"

Note to self.

2011-12-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

One, two, three..

2011-12-24T11:40:00.000+08:00

One

Two

Hahaha. :-) Enjoy your movie then. Have a nice long weekend!
By the way, when Prof. ask u to do something that means she knows that you r good n will help her up. Haha. Great then. Welcome to the group. :-)

-DJ

Three

I wanna be straightforward like uuuuu....XX selalu nak tegur org tapi tade kekuatan cm nisah td padahal dlm hati membuak2.tp xley nk dikeluarkan waaa...i am proud of uuuu...

-X

It'll get better (I hope).

2011-12-20T21:26:00.001+08:00

Reports, presentation and exams, please please don't come to me just yet.

I need time to think for myself.

With you guys consuming my time and especially my mind, I can't even think and plan properly. :'(

Plus, where art thou, motivation?

Been wondering if I actually had one to begin with.

To be blatantly honest, I am not sure if I can go any further.

Edited: Though I said things like this, deep inside I know all of this will be worth it, if I manage to live through it.

どこにいくの？

2011-12-18T14:05:00.000+08:00

Another friend from school is going to tie the knot somewhere in February,

which kinda put a bit of pressure onto me.

No, not that I am implying that I should get married as well.

It is just that, so far my life plan has always been a short term one.

And, with second thoughts keep stealing the peace out of my mind, I don't even know where am I heading now.

Most of my friends are now working.

Many of them are married, or at least are in stable relationships.

They are living independently, saving money for future use, giving some of their pay to the parents, and such.

Me?
Still financially dependent on my parents.

And that is not the only issue.

I have yet to accomplish something I can be proud of.

I can't even picture myself heading that way either, which leaves me pondering whether or not I am doing the right thing.

Where am I going with my life, really?
*sigh*

I hate how insecure I can get at times.

A life worth living.

2011-12-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

It's always the little things in life that make it worth living.

These are among the simple things that never fail to make me happy.

1. Good morning and good night texts

2. Fish (Some people might not get this, but for me they are fascinating to watch)

3. Baking

4. Ice-cream

5. Cards

6. Random text messages and phone calls

7. A good read, be it a book or an article

8. Trips

9. Hopelessly romantic movies

10. Cakes

Plain boring. Indeed, I am.

There goes another two. :)

2011-12-11T16:54:00.000+08:00

So 2 invitation cards have arrived today at my house.

They are Angah's and Dauh's.

I should have asked them to send it here instead.

Those cards must be beautiful. :')
Congratulations to both of you and your respective partners!

^I'm hoping that's not case for me.
Haha :X

2011-12-08T02:34:00.000+08:00

How I want it to be Friday already.

Come faster will you?

Things gonna work out, somehow.

2011-12-03T15:39:00.000+08:00

-______-''

He's not the only person suggesting that.

Akak lab also keeps asking me the same thing.

Their reasons: So that I can have someone to take care of me.

Do I appear as too fragile or what? LOL

No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yourself "There's no point to carry on", no matter how many people tell you that you can't do it - keep going. Don't quit.

Don't quit, because a month from now, you'll be that much closer to your goal than you are now. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Make today counts.

2011-11-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

Apologies to several of you who have previously requested to follow me on Twitter.

It is just a place for me to thank DCTP for their awesome work and most of the time, to vent my feelings. Those tweets are usually something I'd regret if I say them out loud, hence they are protected (sometimes, I'd delete them as well after realizing how ridiculous they are).

If you are approved, it's either :

1. You are DCTP-related.
2. I don't care at all about what you think of me.

3. I trust you enough to let you see the vulnerable side of me.

There are some other reasons, but that's about all I can think of now.

It's a good thing for you to not following me there.

Less dramas, less annoyance.

No hard feelings, okay? :)

Chill yo!

Money, money please come to me.

2011-11-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

Car installment, internet / electric / water bills, house fee, new desk and new bed.

Poorfag now. HAHA.

Awesomeness.

This is as far as I can go.

It's your call.

2011-11-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

I hate developing something, only to have me getting rid of it eventually.

2011-11-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

When is the best time to tell someone you love him?

Answer : Before someone else does.

A place to call my own. :)

2011-11-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

Finally I have a bench of my own for my work in the lab. Whee :D
And, I have to label every equipment with my name as well.

I am not really possessive when it comes to things, (I am more possessive when it comes to people though *cough* :P) but somehow, having all these stuffs with my name on it is somewhat intriguing.
Getting excited over such trivial things, I must have lost my mind. -_-''

Hey you,

2011-11-15T20:04:00.001+08:00

Me liking English doesn't necessarily implying that I'm good at it, for which I am not.

Whoever you are, be careful of what you blurted out.

You are giving false impression about me to other people who doesn't even know me.

When the impression is eons away from the reality, people are going to be disappointed whenever their expectation couldn't be met.

And, I can't keep on disappointing myself either.

Life is not a book, it doesn't have cover for us to judge easily.

Do not assume neither judge things that you are uncertain of.

- Zamri Zainudin, 2011
Facebook (c) 2011. English (UK)

p/s Cited as you wish. :P

Godspeed!

2011-11-09T21:04:00.000+08:00

Troubles love me too much, so I ended up focusing all my energy and time (and efforts, of course) solving them instead of the real task I have to.
Unfortunately, luck is never on my side as well.

I am praying for strength and wisdom, for I believe these two are what I need the most at present time.

And, I have decided that, regardless of what's going to happen,

I'm just going to cherish what I have now.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life if about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

- Gilda Redner

2011-11-06T16:38:00.000+08:00

'nuff said.

2011-11-04T18:34:00.000+08:00

Had an outburst earlier.

andifeellikequitting,forthefirsttime.

今まで。

2011-11-02T10:55:00.002+08:00

I realize that I'm a tad bit slow, lost at the same time and my work hasn't really progress lately.

Weekend, weekend, please hurry up.

I'm gonna do a lot of thinking and self-reflecting before I can start afresh, hopefully.

As much as I wish to blame the distractions, I guess it's really my motivation, for only God knows where it went.

さよなら, strange infatuation.

今まで、ありがとう。:)

2011-10-27T00:54:00.001+08:00

In just a week's time, there goes the 7th (and also the last) one.

I am awesome. :/

Sometimes, you know, a day is bad, and you think it couldn't get any worse, and then suddenly you discover whole new ways it can get worse.

2011-10-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

The next time you're thinking of having a pet, go get yourself a plushie.

Soft toys...anything. As long as they are not living.

ごめんね、little creature. ごめんね、you. :(

Monday rage.

2011-10-24T11:47:00.000+08:00

faux pas!

2011-10-21T09:44:00.000+08:00

"K"

is definitely on top of my list of the most hated replies.

There's nothing to it, really.

"lol" by itself

would be next.

It's pretty much self-explanatory.

My happy pills.

2011-10-19T20:48:00.000+08:00

Hey you,
thanks for the little ones. :)

That was totally unexpected, haha..

I could sit all day and just watch them.

Please be good to me and live well. ♥

2011-10-18T20:28:00.000+08:00

As soon as you stop thinking about them, they'll send you a text message or they'll call you, because they know you just stop thinking about them, it's like a radar. - The Hills

ambivalence

2011-10-15T16:32:00.001+08:00

I think I need to mull it over and get my feelings sorted out.

As of today..

2011-10-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

I am sorry. :'(

I was completely fine when I was in the lab.

...and then it hits me.

Turn the frown upside down. :)

Be strong, be stronger.

^ Thank you for these kind words.

|| Ten rules for being human

2011-10-07T09:39:00.000+08:00

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are also enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life".

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work".

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better place than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

~ Cherie Carter-Scott

Reality bites, doesn't it?

2011-10-02T18:52:00.000+08:00

‎"Real scientists never enter a lab. We work our whole lives to become, if we're lucky, managers of sorts. We oversee, we organize, and we teach. We attend meetings and send e-mails. We think, we write, we debate, we format, and we complain. The day-to-day job of a scientist -- a real one -- isn't too different from that of, say, an insurance claims adjuster.

And the actual science? Well, that's why we have graduate students."

- Adam Ruben, Ph.D, Science mag.

Getting a good offer only means you are a big fish in a small pond.

So many other people out there are as good or even better than you.

What letting go is and isn't.

2011-10-01T21:30:00.001+08:00

Share what you think is right.. share what ever that you have faith in as the truth.. as sweet as any words might be, there could be mistakes in it.. and we are accountable on every words that we spread.. :)

Noted.

2011-09-30T01:03:00.000+08:00

"First and foremost, you can run away from it all you like, but the memory will always remain, you can forget about things but people are far harder, because for every person you meet, they will inevitably change your life in some way. I don't care if it is online or in person, interactions with people have a profound effect. So regardless of whether you stay or go, the memory will always remain, just keep that in mind."

- Kyuuketsuki (DCTP)

ほんとうにありがとう！

2011-09-29T00:07:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd forget if I didn't mention it here.
So, today I am really really thankful for these people:

x Kak Ain, as always.

x Fana

x Tiqah

x Kak Siti

x Umi + Abah

and somehow, someone I barely know..for listening.

Not really listening, but yeah..

Thank you, Allah!

Word of the day has to be this- PATENT

Wordless Wednesday #4

2011-09-28T20:15:00.000+08:00

2011-09-27T22:18:00.000+08:00

Self-rewarding sounds convincing.
A reward per se is tempting enough, so I'm gonna give it a go.

I will trust in you about this and see how well it goes. ;)

Sincerely, me.

2011-09-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

What I've come to realize is that, in essence, how childish I am.
Reflecting on how I behave recently, I feel so embarrassed for all my whining, rants and complaints.

I'll start working on my emotional resilience.
And, of course, I need to find another reason as to what I am pursuing, since the last one is kinda blurry. Hehe..

がんばります！＾＾

Fine-tuning my life, it is. ;)

Snippets.

2011-09-20T22:23:00.000+08:00

Warning: Negativity alert! My apologies!

1. Why are you trying to de-motivate me when I am already all scared and freaked out?

2. I don't even know why Encik W hates me. Forcing me to admit that I am being irresponsible. Lecturing me twice, when it wasn't even my fault. I was just asking a question, for heaven's sake! Demanding me to apologize for stuff I didn't do, that was nonsense. If it is my fault, you don't even have to ask for it, I would honestly do so.

3. Put certain things aside, I think I love it here.

4. In today's Statistic & Research Methodology class, Prof. H asked a question, and he promised to give 5% of the total marks in final exam to whomever manage to answer. The actual answer is a combination of my answer and a Chinese guy in the class. I got 3% for being partially correct but he didn't get any. D:

5. I managed to re-enroll in the above class, despite me being an outsider (I have registered, but the system rejected my name since they hardly allow any student outside of their faculty to register, plus the class has already reach its maximum number of student). Thanks Prof. H and Kak Ida for your help! :') Too bad Kak Ain couldn't make it. Otherwise, I won't be alone in the class anymore.

6. So I guess statistics love me, despite me hating the subject. XD

7. I kinda admire someone for his excellent command of English and his simple reason for doing research, but I am getting clingy due to his familiarity with the system and all. I shall stop pestering now, for I think I am already such a major annoyance.

8. I am not excited at all for my convocation.

9. Getting super tanned and my skin complexion is getting worse. And oh, my weight. :/

10. I might need to betray you, hence my early apology. ごめなさい。ほうんとうに。 ><

11. I miss my tumblr and DCTP. ;_;

12. I am really envious of those in USM Penang.

13. I'm in dire need of lotsssa chocolate and cakes.

14. Went to animal house this afternoon, wearing my USM lab coat. When I got there, the chit-chatting stopped and they were all silently doing their job, awkwardly. After a while, one of the guy came to me and said, "Ah, so you are also a student? We thought you are a visitor from USM, that's why we behave ourselves and handle the animals nicely,..Kena jaga reputation UPM." LMAO. I'll get my lab coat soon lah. XD

15. I've missed several friends' weddings since I'm stranded here. Still, congratulations to all of you, for finding your soul mates. :')

Insecure + Vulnerable

2011-09-15T23:20:00.001+08:00

As of now, I am constantly doubting myself, thanks to all those whys and what ifs.

2011-09-14T17:46:00.001+08:00

Looks like I'm having trouble with almost everything here.
From course registration, applying for convocation leave, research project and all.
T______________T
I've figured out about the transportation in the campus, so that basically ease me a lot.
I'm grateful for everyone who have helped me so far.
Especially to those who have to bear with my whining.

Thanks guys. :')

Facelift? Bleh.

2011-09-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

Apparently I messed up the whole thing, which ended up with me changing the layout.

And it turns out like this. :V
Too colorful to my liking though.

I've just realized that the "reply" button is not functioning.
I shall leave it like that for I have an important matter to attend to.

~~Plus, I don't know how to fix that thing either. :P~~

Things are going to get tougher from now onwards.
I know that much and all I am asking for is the perseverance while getting through it.

2011-09-05T10:39:00.000+08:00

Hey you!
Stop whatever you think you're doing.
~~Go away, you fiend!~~
As if I don't have enough problems to deal with.
Pftt~

Happy Eid!

2011-08-30T03:36:00.000+08:00

I know, I know...Too amateur. :V

Nevertheless, I am too tired.

May the blessing of Allah brings you beautiful moments and all life's best.

Wishing everyone an Eid filled with love and happiness.
Have a wonderful one!

*faint*

~~I regret for not learning how to write in cursive properly.~~

もういっかい～

2011-08-28T08:15:00.000+08:00

Last night's dream felt so real.

When it came to the best part...I woke up, of course. -_-''

Tried to sleep in, hoping it would continue..but to no avail. :P

The person, place, colors and the conversations were still vividly impressed on my memory.

How I wish it was real.

Given that it will never happen in real life, make me happy and come into my dream more often, will you??! xD
もういっかい。もういっかい。

I doubt so though.

So, I shall treasure with my heart, while I still remember it~♥

Such an epic dream it was. :3

Super late Wordless Wednesday #3

2011-08-24T23:59:00.003+08:00

Going down the memory lane, again.

2011-08-22T03:18:00.000+08:00

It's at times like this that we would play around with the cheap fireworks we bought from the Bazaar, taking pictures, making the konon-konon video ucapan Hari Raya and fooling around till it's past midnight.

Last 2 years' pictures. :)

Last year's memories. :))

I was derping around my favorite site when I discovered this awesome song.
While listening to it, those moments flashed right back in, hence this sentimental post. :P

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days

Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

With this, I've realized how my life is creeping up on me.

>,<

Wordless Wednesday #2

2011-08-17T07:03:00.000+08:00

Wordless Wednesday #1

2011-08-10T05:45:00.002+08:00

The obligation of being loyal.

2011-08-03T09:32:00.003+08:00

I have to remind myself that not everyone has the sense of loyalty and mutual responsibilities.

2011-08-03T00:35:00.002+08:00

You don't give up just because things are hard.

Sometimes, it's fated.

2011-07-25T00:35:00.001+08:00

source: tumblr

Hitting the rough patch.

2011-07-19T02:28:00.004+08:00

If I had chosen that path, reported myself at PPSP on the 14th, things would have been easier. Haha.

Much much much easier actually.

Everything is all set up.

The place, environment and people I am familiar with.

I do not want that. Not anymore. :P

Living too long in a comfort zone is sickening.

I know I shouldn't whine, it is my own decision after all..but this is difficult. ;_;

All these new things are driving me crazy for the more I read, the more stressful I become.

Couple of days have passed, and I am stuck on the same page.

Boo~

Now I'm having so much to worry about. ><

I need a de-stressing therapy.

Pronto.

Still, this is the type of stress that I've always like - the one that keeps me going and helps my work done. ;)

Being independent.

2011-07-16T01:53:00.006+08:00

"Now you asked me to stop being choosy, all for the reason that I'm now 23. Isn't it a reason enough for me to be choosier? If I'm looking for someone to settle down, I sure as hell want to make sure he's the right one. I believe that marriage is until death do us apart.Yes, I'm a crazy romantic...and for that I don't want to end up with the wrong one."

^Super love this..and you too, babe! :)

Hello, baby!♥

2011-07-11T08:45:00.003+08:00

Congratulations David and Victoria for the birth of Harper Seven Beckham!♥

I have loved these two ever since I was 13.

The Beckhams are always adorable.
And there's more of them now.

~~Nak baby jugak.~~

2011-06-27T15:59:00.002+08:00

Why is everything so difficult?

(．＿．)

pastéis de nata~

2011-06-22T02:24:00.009+08:00

These were supposed to be Portuguese tarts.

which should look yummy like this.

Totally scrumptious. *drools*

But mine turned out like this.

And these.

Buruknyaa~

*sigh*

Obviously should improve on the pastries next time.

>,<

Om nom nom~

2011-06-21T12:11:00.008+08:00

My current life is a constant struggle between being lazy and bored.

Hence, this was made last night.

Cheesecake.

250 g cream cheese (I use Philadelphia)

200 ml plain yogurt

3 table spoons self-rising flour

90 g castor sugar

2 eggs

2 tea spoons lemon juice

Mix everything until they become creamy.

Bake for about 40 minutes, at 170 degree.

And voila!

Dah siappp~

Simple gila. Haha.
Leave overnight in the fridge.

And there you go. ♥

I guess I can have it all by myself.

Since they do not favor cheese that much.

Wee~ ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/

Last week, it was this.

Orange cake.

My favorite. I never liked orange cake before.

But this is different.

Super oishii and moist. And veeeery soft.

And not so sweet which is perfect for Abah and Umi.

Next should be the tarts.

XOXO!

2011-06-21T01:28:00.003+08:00

Hello there, queen of second thoughts.

Now I guess I am back to point 0.

*sigh*

and I don't know what I want anymore.

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.

Just because they are not on the same road as you do, doesn't mean they've gotten lost.

Cyber heroes?

2011-06-16T06:00:00.005+08:00

DDoS. Script kiddies. And other hacking2 stuff.

Xpaham pun ape dia.

HAHAHA.

Kesian saya noob. ;_;

All I know is that there is this group of people

calling themselves Anonymous, launched attacks on our government's sites

sebab the government blocks file sharing websites.

And #operation malaysia, the hacking mission (is this even the right word?haha) is yet to be accomplished due to the shutting down of the server by the gov, which seems cowardice to them.

Them = Anonymous and orang2 yang x sokong the gov's action.

Seriously tu je yg sy paham.

Haha.

I must've lost my mind for spending the night figuring out the whole situation when normally I'd rather be watching all those lovey-dovey korean dramas.

*facepalm*

Even though I don't think it is the right thing to do (not that I agree with the gov blocking the sites), I think they are kinda cool.

We are Anonymous, we are legion, we do not forgive, we do not forget, united as one, divided by zero, expect us.

Cool kan? Cool kan?

Haha.

Ntah sejak bila hackers jadi cool cmni. XD

So,

I do. I do. I do.

2011-06-15T07:04:00.003+08:00

We need to see that love isn’t all about chocolates and roses.

It’s not supposed to be always sweet, happy, touching, and warm.

Love could be cold and strict when it needs to be,

alone when space is needed,

and sad when it has to be.

Don’t expect love to always make you feel good,

but do expect it to make you grow in ways you never thought you would.

By the way, a colleague of mine is getting engaged.

Congratulations!^^

I didn't see it coming though.

Haha.

The most romantic story is not Romeo and Julie who died together,
but grandpa and grandma who grew old together.

2011-06-12T02:20:00.001+08:00

23 years old and everyone is getting married.

Or having babies.

>,<

Marble-lous!^^

2011-06-06T00:25:00.005+08:00

Helloooo new oven!

Thanks umi!♥

So, hari ni konon-konon nak wat kek pelangi.

source: here

Instead of warna2 hijau, merah macam original recipe tu,

I used orange and chocolate emulco. Mixed with 2 tablespoons of sunquick and some cocoa powder.

And I added extra milk.

But, I failed at making all those beautiful layers..and mine turns out like this.

Sadly.

Haha.

Moist enough for me.

Marble-lous lah kot.

Wee~٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶

“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”

Kek Malas

2011-06-03T00:57:00.004+08:00

Okayy..so the name says it all.

Kemalasan yang amat tapi nak makan kek..

So I made this for the second time.

A bit too dry for my liking, but hey...it's kek malas what...

Okay laa tu.. ;P

For those yang malas macam saya, silaaa laa try.

Kek yang x sampai 5 minutes pun.

Haha.

Nutella Mug Cake

4 tablespoons of self-rising flour (I used tepung gandum n a lil bit of baking soda)

4 tablespoons of sugar ( I used castor sugar)

1 egg

3 tablespoons of cocoa powder

3 tablespoons of vegetable oil

3 tablespoons of milk (I put a lil bit more )

3 tablespoons of Nutella

Combine all ingredients, whisk them well until smooth,

put in the oven for 3-5 minutes (depends on your oven, mine took 4 minutes)

and voila!

You can top it with whipped cream or chocolate ganache, if you like.

I am too lazy to prepare the chocolate..

So here's mine..

Buruk je.

Bwahaha~

XOXO!

choice

2011-05-19T23:55:00.014+08:00

If waiting does not make sense any longer,

move on.

If you feel like you are not valued by the person like you do,

let go.

Stop letting yourself be treated as nothing by the person whom you value so much.

You deserve more than what you think.

In life, it's about making wise decision as we grow up,

not making ourself a foolish one.

:))

XOXO!

Tsk.

2011-05-18T20:04:00.006+08:00

The thing is, I lied.

And looks like it will lead to another lie.

Padan muka. Haha. ;_;

Big or small, lies are lies.

My Life in a Venn Diagram~

2011-05-16T00:32:00.003+08:00

Ahh~ really.

どうする？

사랑~

2011-05-15T00:16:00.004+08:00

or this?

or perhaps this? :3

Seriously, I should get a life.

Kebosanan yang amat.

Oh, by the way, congratulations Manchester United for the historic 19th title!

It's good to see Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes again.

Zaman dulu-dulu masa ade Beckham, Roy Keane, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Barthez, etc.. sangat best.

Well...time flies.

Mwuu~

Enough ranting.

Oyasuminasai.

2011-05-10T00:34:00.003+08:00

I'm not angry.

I'm not mad.

I'm not upset.

I'm not even hurt anymore.

I'm just too tired..of getting my hopes up high, just to end up disappointed all over again.

| the end |

2011-05-07T02:00:00.007+08:00

Sometimes what sets you free are restrictions, sometimes what makes most sense are contradictions.

Sometimes...all you have is not enough.

Sometimes you think you understand, sometimes you know you really can't.

Sometimes life is like a dream, sometimes dreams aren't what they seem.

Sometimes laughter can heal your heart, sometimes it's laughter that breaks you apart.

Sometimes the world goes faster than you can go, sometimes even fast is still too slow.

Sometimes going home is the only thing on your mind, sometimes home is the only place you can't find.

Sometimes you are too tired to sleep, sometimes you are too sad to weep.

Well, things are about to end.

Somewhere along our way, we won't have much to say.

And we won't seem to bother about each other anymore.

Then comes the awkward silence.

The thought of these terrifies me.

I'm scared that people that mean so much to me will grow apart, as it always does.

(Explains why I am super good in distancing myself from getting too emotionally attached to somebody *sigh* )

I'm afraid that they'll just leave and forget all the memories.

There I just said it, I'm scared that you'll forget about me.

I'm quite the complicated type, tend to trip on my feet.

Then stumble over my words, portraying the wrong ideas.

For everything you've thought me, thank you very much.

And for my wrongdoings, I am very sorry.

Until we meet again,

farewell.

| brain rulez |

2011-04-26T21:04:00.008+08:00

As much as I want to follow what my heart dictates, I just can't.

The last time I did, I failed. Miserably.

Gomen ne dear heart.

I'll have to go with the brain.

Tsk.

きおく～

2011-04-24T01:34:00.004+08:00

Muster up the will and thoughts.

Like finally. *sigh*

I'm glad it doesn't hit me as hard anymore.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Right here, right now~♥

2011-04-17T17:51:00.013+08:00

The ultimate happiest moment as a student has to be this.

Okay. Exaggerate. Haha.

Still, weee~~

Sneak peek of it.

Acknowledgements part je lah.. ;P

Thank you, Prof.

For your kindness.

For your thoughts.

For your concern.

Then, check thesis sy banyak2 kali.

You even skipped your lunch sebab nak wat mock presentation. =')

Pastu ramai2 datang masa sy viva.

I am truly very grateful.

And

To the most important person behind the completion of my final year project;

For putting up with me, ほんとうにありがとう。

sebab ajar sy from the very basic,

sebab balik lambat sbb tggu sy,

sebab rushing2 sbb sy,

sebab check thesis sy,

sebab tanya sy banyak2 soklan so that sy lebih prepared for viva,

sebab sabar ngan sy,

sebab layan soklan2 sy,

for putting me at ease whenever I messed up,

mekasih Abg Aizat! ^^

In this life, some have more and some have less.

I have them and I am blessed.

"With so many things to be thankful for,

I’ll just say Thank You, for You."

|| When my good enough is not enough.

2011-04-08T14:35:00.007+08:00

Editing corrected thesis was indeed heart-wrenching,

especially when the examiner was Prof # - one of the nukes in PPSK.

Of all lecturers, kenapa diaaa kena mark sy punya?

Plus all those comments, my thesis appears trashy now.

Or was it?

;_;

Oh well, it's not like I can change anything.

Marks were already given,

tapi please jangan bg sy markah rendah sgt, 8 unit kot.

Hua.

p.s. Cepat laa datang 18 hb! ^^

&f%68aKjj^!

2011-04-05T01:45:00.003+08:00

Sangat banyak macam ape ntah.

;_;

I super hate the logbooks.

'Nuff said.

Even the sweetest chocolate expires.

2011-04-04T03:22:00.003+08:00

Nothing is permanent.

Certain things are never bound to be.

People change. So does feelings. It's universal truth.

But it doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't real.

It is just that, sometimes when people grow,

they grow apart.

2011-03-30T17:18:00.004+08:00

What's the point of pretending you are in love

when you are not actually feeling it?

Spellbound.

2011-03-30T16:58:00.007+08:00

Is it possible to actually fall for someone when they are at their worst?

Or,

is it because the feelings are already there

and any flaws do not seem to matter anymore?

Either way is fine. ~~I guess.~~

| Post-VIVA |

2011-03-30T13:15:00.012+08:00

We are finally heading towards the end of undergraduate life.

I wish I could say that I am truly glad it will be over very soon.

Good bye is usually said when leaving.

Either when they know that they will eventually see each other again,

or realizing that they probably never will.

| THE day |

2011-03-26T15:54:00.004+08:00

Esok sy present thesis

depan Prof.

Abg Aizat.

Abg Amin.

dan org2 genome.

Plissss jgn tgk. T_T

Lusa,

sy ada VIVA.

hua.

;_;

Tak0tnyaaa sy! ;'((

[ insignificance ]

2011-03-24T01:27:00.007+08:00

Just because she appears strong,

doesn't mean it's okay to hurt her.

Almost tearing up for someone who doesn't even hold a position within me,

even though I know it wasn't even his intention.

Wonder why I am being super sensitive lately.

It's not even the time of the month.

Pfft~

I hate you lab management! ;_;

~~I know I am insignificant.~~

きみにとどけ。

2011-03-21T19:33:00.003+08:00

"You'll never realize the importance of something until it's gone.."

Truth is, it will never be gone unless you give importance to it.

The struggle within.

2011-03-21T09:00:00.002+08:00

When you are struggling with something

and you thought you are so hopeless,

take a look around.

Realize that every single person is struggling too.

And perhaps it's just as difficult as what you are going through,

or even worse.

Sniff sniff!

2011-03-20T11:24:00.006+08:00

What smells good in the morning?

Coffee.

and guys.♥

*cough cough*

yang mandi la. :P

HAHA!

2011-03-20T01:37:00.005+08:00

“ But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending

we don’t learn how to read the signs.

How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t,

the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy or a girl,

maybe.. it’s you, on your own,

picking up the pieces and starting over,

freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this,

knowing after all the un-returned phone calls,

broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals,

through all the pain and embarrassment

you never gave up hope. ”

Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

日本のために祈る~

2011-03-17T11:01:00.006+08:00

がんばれ、にっぽん！

Hiroshima 1945 - Hiroshima today.

Tokyo 1923 - Tokyo today.

Kobe 1995 - Kobe today.

Like before, they will rise again.

2011-03-02T17:47:00.002+08:00

Please don't simply use anyone,

just because they are being nice to you.

Weeeeee~~~~

2011-03-01T04:41:00.006+08:00

This entry is posted especially as a response to this.

Even though it is not official yet,

it is now complete.

More or less. ><"

Barely reach page 60.

Tsk.

Still.....Yeay!

Weeeeeeee~~~~

My brain isn't functioning anymore.

Jya ne.

XOXO!

けっこんおめでとう！:')

2011-02-27T18:58:00.005+08:00

Someone from TMS was here.

It completely changed my mood since my day was pretty much suck at the beginning.

Yatta!

The highlight of the day should be the fact that she is getting married.

Very soon.

To her bf from highschool.

Eh. Fiancé. Ehem.

Bestnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

This is the first time someone close to me is getting married.

We have always always and always wondered who's gonna say the big YES for a proposal among us.

And it is her.

HAHAHA.

Bestnya. Bestnya. Bestnya. Bestnyaaaa.

Congratulations! ^^

けっこんおめでとう！

I guess we have finally come to THAT age.

;_________;

Dear time, just pause.

Please? :3

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. And in the end you learn who is fake, who is true and who would risk it all for you.

The Essence Of Reminiscence~

2011-02-26T03:17:00.010+08:00

It's Chinese New Year Night celebration.

An event of super oishii food, macho guys on stage, and cute outfits worn by the guests.

Love the choir, drums and xiangsheng (a crosstalk full of puns, which was really funny).

I don't really get certain humorous parts of the first performance though.

Gomen. XD

Overall, the Chinese were awesome!^^

I wonder why Hari Raya celebrations are not as grand as this CNY and the previous MKI.

Sorry for the comparing, but I can't help it.

Haha..

Beautifully decorated stage. :)

Girlssss...te quiero mucho! ♥

Cken, heart you too! ^^

Baju. Baju. Baju.

Baju kelawar. ><"

Dua orang budak nakal.

May be surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

I just wanna go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two

I'm fine baby, how are you?
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that.

We met for a reason.

2011-02-23T14:46:00.009+08:00

These are among my favorite stolen moments from our Biomedicine Asian Night Dinner.

One certain winner.

It has to be this.

Gambar menempel-nempel.

><"

Potret keluarga.

;)

Usaha tangga kejayaan.

I will surely miss this. ;)

mcD di tengah malam.

Yakin je g pakai cmni. ><"

Lastly, gambar gedik bersama Ain harus ada.

Chuuu~♥

Many thanks to Natrah, Izy and Yanti for the troubles of membelit-belit kimono sy.

Extra love for you!

♥♥♥♥♥

Life is funny, isn't it?

Just when you think you've got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about it and feel like you know what direction you're heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west and you're lost. It's so easy to lose your way, to lose your direction.

- Cecilia Ahern's Where Rainbows End-

. Just a Little Bit of Everything .

This is meaningless, really.

Tell me what life is.

I am Sherlocked.

| Case closed |

What a day

The only exception.

Up, up we go~

PhD thingy to ponder

Au Revoir 2011, Bonjour 2012!

A Gift of Life.

Note to self.

One, two, three..

It'll get better (I hope).

どこにいくの？

A life worth living.

There goes another two. :)

Things gonna work out, somehow.

Money, money please come to me.

A place to call my own. :)

Hey you,

Godspeed!

今まで。

Monday rage.

faux pas!

My happy pills.

ambivalence

As of today..

|| Ten rules for being human

Reality bites, doesn't it?

What letting go is and isn't.

Noted.

ほんとうにありがとう！

Wordless Wednesday #4

Sincerely, me.

Snippets.

Insecure + Vulnerable

Facelift? Bleh.

Happy Eid!

もういっかい～

Super late Wordless Wednesday #3

Going down the memory lane, again.

Wordless Wednesday #2

Wordless Wednesday #1

The obligation of being loyal.

Sometimes, it's fated.

Hitting the rough patch.

Being independent.

Hello, baby!♥

pastéis de nata~

Om nom nom~

Cyber heroes?

I do. I do. I do.

Marble-lous!^^

Kek Malas

choice

Tsk.

My Life in a Venn Diagram~

사랑~

| the end |

| brain rulez |

きおく～

Right here, right now~♥

|| When my good enough is not enough.

&f%68aKjj^!

Even the sweetest chocolate expires.

Spellbound.

| Post-VIVA |

| THE day |

[ insignificance ]

きみにとどけ。

The struggle within.

Sniff sniff!

日本のために祈る~

Weeeeee~~~~

けっこん おめでとう！:')

The Essence Of Reminiscence~

We met for a reason.

けっこんおめでとう！:')