when it gets complicated..

i logged in to my facebo0k account, and to my suprise, i got a message from my lecturer. at first, he asked me what the hell am i doing at 2 am? YMing wif bf? hah..i wish! of course not, dr.. by this time, he is sleeping soundly..

then, the conversation became deeper and deeper. dr. started to advise me..the thing we discussed is really meaningful.. generally, it was about relationships..lol. dr. gave some explanations about certain things i really need to understand- love, blessings and even about dates... and he was hoping that i won't regret anything or do all those stupid things my seniors did when they were dumped by their boyfriends.. geez. i think it is better if you just kill your bf rather than trying to suicide..haha! kiddin'! all those stuff are indeed scary..

besides all the advices, i also received a warning. yes, you heard me.. a WARNING..

it is really good to have someone to warn you. and in my case, i am glad that i have a lecturer who cares about his students more than what he should.. honestly, i am thankful that dr. warned me.. it means so much to me.. thanks, dr.

i am giving a lot of thoughts regarding this issue. and it is not that i need to think twice about my relationship. but then.. oh, i really don't know how to put it into words..haha! certain things are somehow confusing..and complicated too..

dr. wants to see me after he gets back here, probably this october.. i AM scared. haha! i don't think he will ever tolerate if my results drop..me neither.

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precious award..

3.13 a.m and i'm still awake..

i thought of watching tv but then n0thing caught my attenti0n..

my br0ther went to sleep quite early, so i have the chance to use the computer.yay! usually he w0n't sleep at night. i wonder what he is up to..

by the way, he's 22 by now..happy birthday, onii-chan..^^

i received this award from alin, my sweet n0t-so-little baby..hehe..

thanks a l0t..

Copy award di bawah untuk diletakkan di blog anda

Nyatakan 5 fakta menarik tentang si pemberi award ini

1. she eats a l0t..i mean, A LOT..haha! she won't gain weight wlwpn mkn sgt byk..

2. slalu mkn beger ngan sy alm0st everynite when we were in kmpp..

3. teddy bear dia nme Fina..a combinati0n of her name and sumone..haha!

4. going 2 be a dentist. u go, girl! i'm so proud of u..=)

5. dia sgt2 rajen stadi..the most hardw0rking girl i ever encountered, i should say.. alin dear, bg i sket kerajinan u tu, bley? i reli need it utk semester depan..hehe..

Setiap blogger mestilah menyatakan 10 fakta atau hobi diri sndiri sebelum memilih
1. i love myself..

2. i love my family and besties so much that i couldn't imagine losing any of them.. Thank You, Allah..they are the m0st precious award i ever received..

3. i ♥ my bf..

4. sy ske tid0..


5. i'm sick of people comparing me with others (including with my siblings).get a life!

6. finally, i know what i'm going 2 do after finishing my degree..
7. i spend too much time on "what ifs.."
8. i love yamapi! haha..still can't get over him..lol!
9. i'm a crybaby..
10. a pessimist (i know i shouldn't.. but yeah..)

Anda perlu memilih 10 penerima award dan describe tentang mereka.

1. Fara - a very strong girl, wif a very cute face and she's very happy wif his beloved mr. L..hehe..

2. Kak FateN- sy x penah jmpe beliau..tp, sy tau..dia nanges tyme tgk c0de blue, juz like me..haha!

3. Fatin - dia amek forensic..forensic sgt g0jes since subjek yg di0rg amek smuanye ssh2.

u go, girl!!

4. hakim chanz - dia b0s sy mse amek keusahawanan dulu...he's damn go0d in english..

5.nad ker0ppi - seorg yg sgt mengg0da..naturally mengg0da..siyesly..haha!

6. Misa-chan - sumone i kn0w from the internet. to be exact, from friendster.. pr0bably dia xde mse utk blogging lg since she's so busy wif her study n work..i'm so happy 4 her since she's gettin married..^^

7. Lea - sorg lg dak yg amek f0rensic.. dia sgt2 baek (thanks 4 dat night) n sgt ske blogging.. tp, dia dh lme x update blog dia..hehe..

8. Reen - s0rg lg dak usm..hehe.. dia sgt chantekkk n pndai masak....

9. Nina - my bro's ex-girlfriend.. tp sy ttap ske dia..wlwpun sy ske wat dia marah..haha!

10. azahiri, perhaps?? *winkwink*

(dak ni sgt laa misteri..but from what cJ told me, dia baek, pndai n ske tnye s0klan pelik2..hua3)

+++++++++++++++

i miss you, alin.. as well as Fara, Melin and AD..

i would like to re-do our matrix life over and over again..but of coz, minus the examinations..haha! but i don't think it is such a go0d idea since Mr. Ho would probably get sick of us.. (he's my fav lecturer, you kn0w..haha!)

+++++++++++++++

again,

happy birthday, onii-chan..

i luv u!

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how is it going to be?

i'm n0t in a go0d mood lately, pr0bably because the final exam results will come out very, very soon.. i'm worried about the outcome. damn..

i'm the one at fault since i know i can do better back then..

hopefully everything will be all right, eventhough i completely doubt it will happen..

*sigh*

there are certain people who have to bear all my complaints these past few days..

thanks 4 being there..

+++++++++++++++

...i think i love you...

It can't be, it probably isn't, that's what I believed~

There's no way that I could love you~

It's just jealousy, I must be lonely

I tried fooling myself, but I can't hide it any longer

I Think I Love You~

It must be true

Cause I Miss You~

Whenever you're not here

I can't do anything

I keep thinking of you

Seeing what's happening,

I`m Falling For You~

I didn't know, Now I Need You~

Sometime, in the depths of my heart

I can see that you've taken root in my soul~

They say we're not good together, that we should just be friends,

One to ten, we can't agree on anything,

How can we be together? It's not an option

I kept telling myself, but I don't want to do it anymore~

I Think I Love You~

It must be true

Cause I Miss You~

Whenever you're not here

I can't do anything

I keep thinking of you

Seeing what's happening,

I`m Falling For You~

I didn't know, Now I Need You~

Sometime, in the depths of my heart

I can see that you've taken root in my soul~

Why couldn't I see it was you?

Why couldn't I see you when you were right before my eyes?

You were beside me all along

It's now that I finally see you,

I Think I Love You~

It must be true

Cause I Miss You~

Whenever you're not here

I can't do anything

I keep thinking of you

Seeing what's happening,

I`m Falling For You~

I didn't know, Now I Need You~

Sometime, in the depths of my heart

I can see that you've taken root in my soul~

+++++++++++++++

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when boredom strikes..

i found this in my mum's old recipe bo0k.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

EGG TART

bahan-bahan

3 biji telur

1 tin susu cair

4 senduk gula pasir (this is wayyyy too much! i use 2 senduk only..)

1 sudu besar tepung kastard

cara-cara

kacau sekejap di atas api dan jangan biarkan mendidih.

hanya panaskan sahaja.

pastri

1 buku mentega

4 cawan tepung gandum

1 biji telur

( add some sugar if you want^^)

cara-cara

1. masukkan mentega dalam tepung. gaulkan.

2. masukkan telur dan uli hingga sebati.

3. gunakan acuan tart telur.

ambilkan sedikit pastri tadi dan tekan dalam acuan nipis-nipis hingga rata.

4. tuang adunan telur dan bakar dalam oven (180'C)

so..tadaa! ^^

they don't look really nice though..haha!

but hey..they are homemade...

what do you expect from me? hua3..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

pe0ple sometimes forget 2 appreciate

someone besides them..

but,

when they l0st them..

they will cry

and miss that "someone" so much..

so...

i want you to appreciate

that "someone"

bef0re you will never

can see,

touch,

lo0k,

feel,

&

love

that "someone" again..

because you never know

who are falling in love with you..

until you l0st them..

Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to,

doesn't mean

they don't love you with all they have..=)

p.s. i hate this h0liday. had nothing better to do. damn it!

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what forgiveness is not..

Forgiveness is not forgetting.

by forgiving the people who hurt us, we are not erasing painful past experiences from our memory. We cannot forget, nor should we. Those experiences, and even the pain they caused, have a great deal to teach us, both about not being victimized again and about not victimizing others.

Forgiveness is not condoning.

when we forgive, we lessen the past's impact on our present and future, but this does not alter the fact that the injuries and injustices we experienced were painful and unfair when the ordeal occurred originally. Forgiving the people who hurt us does not mean we are saying that what was done was in any way acceptable. In fact, true forgiveness cannot occur while we are in any way denying, minimizing, justifying or condoning the actions that harmed us.

Forgiveness is not absolution.

forgiveness does not give us the right to get all self-righteous and to play God, tempting though it may be. It does not let the people who have hurt us off the hook. We do not absolve them of all responsibility for their actions, and one day, they'll have to make their own peace with their past.

Forgiveness is not self-sacrifice.

forgiveness is not tolerance or "being nice". There is no such thing as half-hearted forgiveness. It is either you forgive or you don't.

Forgiveness is not a clear-cut decision.

forgiveness cannot be forced, and no matter how sincerely we want to let go of the past, we cannot schedule it to happen anytime we want. Forgiveness is what happens naturally as a result of facing painful past experiences and healing old wounds.

adapted from;

Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life

by Sidney and Suzanne Simon.

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..............

last night, i found out something.

and..it hurts..

how could you do that?

isn't it sad that when you have so much pain in your heart & you want to talk, the only person who can stop you from crying is exactly the same person who made you cry?

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brownies~

i made this out of bored0m.. br0wnies!! haha..
i love br0wnies.. yummy2...XD

here's the recipe..in case sum of you wanna give it a try..

++++++++++++++

bahan A
180g br0wn sugar
20g gula putih
70g serbuk koko
secubit garam

bahan B
280g butter (dicairkan)

bahan C
2 biji telur (dipukul sedikit)
80g tpung gandum
paper cup

cara-cara

1. masukkan semua bahan A ke dlm mangkuk
2. masukkan butter cair & gaul sebati
3. masukkan telur dan gaul rata
4. masukkan tepung sedikit demi sedikit dan gaul sebati
5. masukkan batter ke dalam paper cup..
hias dgn badam cincang..
6. bakar dlm oven yg telah dipanaskan pada suhu 175'C (15-20 minit)

++++++++++++++

sgt senang, rite? haha! actually i dun strictly follow the recipe..i reduced the amount of butter used to avoid all th0se minyak coming out lps bakar.. and..it is better if u use small cups since klw gne cup yg bsr,kat tgh2 tu x msk.. dats what syazwan said..



p.s
kame-chan died on saturday. isk~

gomen ne, kame-chan... ='(

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happy teacher's day!

to all the teachers in this w0rld, happy teacher's day!!

and of c0z...to b0th abah n umi... b0th of you are the best teachers i ever kn0wn..thanks!

i'll be going to KL..so i'll update again later.. daa..

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happy h0liday! ^^

so..here i am..

al0ne in my ro0m, DM3/131, waiting for my parents to fetch me..

i'm going h0me..yay!! ^^

last thursday, i went to Penang. that was the first Golden Key meeting for us, the new representatives for the next semester.

at first, i really didn't want to go there.. you know, all of my frens were going back ady.. so, why the heck am i supp0sed to stay back a bit longer? that was my thought back then..haha!

at 10 pm, we board the bus.. and i didn't sleep on my way to penang. blame sumone for disturbing me.. =b actually, i was the one disturbing him..hua3...

we arrived at the Sungai Nibong bus stati0n around 5 am....

[sungai nibong]

then, the vice president, Cheng came and fetch us..he's really nice, i tell ya..sacrificing his sleeping time in order to fetch us very early in the morning. we appreciated that. the other GK members are super nice too- yee ching, wei sin, xue fang, and others.. i cant remember their names..haha! one more thing, compared to the students in health campus, they are very matured..back then, when we had our meeting, it was like they were my seniors eventhough we are of the same age. the way they think, the way they speak, their characters..w0w...i'm glad i went there..for being able to meet them, i am very happy. yee lin and dayah must feel the same way, i guess...and..after we had our meeting, we went to yee ching's house and had a l0t of fun! after that, xue fang brought us to Queensbay mall..shopping time..yatta! ^^

okay...now i've l0st my w0rds.. thanks to the blackout just now. damn! blackout for almost an hour. i thought i was going to die..this hot weather is killing me! *sigh* hm..really, i've lost my words.haha.. so, basically, penang was fun! hopefully we'll be able to go there again. the people i met there are really kind. especially xue fang...

thanks a l0t..^^

[pic taken on the Penang bridge]

ahh...before i forget...at the queensbay, i bought these! XD

Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now, Where Rainbows End and A Place Called Here.. haha! this is so0ooo..not me! seriously, my old self won't spend money on novels like this..haha! i wonder what happened to me..XD

by da way, i can't wait to go home and read them.lalalalala~

i think that's it about penang and golden key. i need to go for my Asar prayer,and then pack my stuff. yeah...i haven't finish packing! haha... just now umi called while i slept. she's coming here at 6pm. yay! ^^

so...happy holiday to everyone, especially the USM students..i'll see you again next semester... tata!

[edited] hua3..

p.s. cJ, i'll be missing you...=)

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