Au Revoir 2011, Bonjour 2012!

 

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A Gift of Life.

This is my pledge.

What's yours? :)

More info: here

"The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it makes some difference that you have lived at all"

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Note to self.

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One, two, three..

One

Two

Hahaha. :-) Enjoy your movie then. Have a nice long weekend!
By the way, when Prof. ask u to do something that means she knows that you r good n will help her up. Haha. Great then. Welcome to the group. :-)

-DJ

Three

I wanna be straightforward like uuuuu....XX selalu nak tegur org tapi tade kekuatan cm nisah td padahal dlm hati membuak2.tp xley nk dikeluarkan waaa...i am proud of uuuu...

-X

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It'll get better (I hope).

Reports, presentation and exams, please please don't come to me just yet.

I need time to think for myself.

With you guys consuming my time and especially my mind, I can't even think and plan properly. :'(

Plus, where art thou, motivation?

Been wondering if I actually had one to begin with.

To be blatantly honest, I am not sure if I can go any further.

Edited: Though I said things like this, deep inside I know all of this will be worth it, if I manage to live through it.

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どこにいくの？

Another friend from school is going to tie the knot somewhere in February, 

which kinda put a bit of pressure onto me.

No, not that I am implying that I should get married as well.

It is just that, so far my life plan has always been a short term one.

And, with second thoughts keep stealing the peace out of my mind, I don't even know where am I heading now.

Most of my friends are now working. 

Many of them are married, or at least are in stable relationships.

They are living independently, saving money for future use, giving some of their pay to the parents, and such.

Me?
Still financially dependent on my parents.

And that is not the only issue.

I have yet to accomplish something I can be proud of.

I can't even picture myself heading that way either, which leaves me pondering whether or not I am doing the right thing. 

Where am I going with my life, really?
*sigh*

I hate how insecure I can get at times.

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A life worth living.

It's always the little things in life that make it worth living.

These are among the simple things that never fail to make me happy.

1. Good morning and good night texts

2. Fish (Some people might not get this, but for me they are fascinating to watch)

3. Baking

4. Ice-cream

5. Cards

6. Random text messages and phone calls

7. A good read, be it a book or an article

8. Trips

9. Hopelessly romantic movies

10. Cakes

Plain boring. Indeed, I am.

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There goes another two. :)

 

So 2 invitation cards have arrived today at my house.

They are Angah's and Dauh's.

I should have asked them to send it here instead. 

Those cards must be beautiful. :')
Congratulations to both of you and your respective partners!

^I'm hoping that's not case for me.
Haha :X

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How I want it to be Friday already.

Come faster will you?

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Things gonna work out, somehow.

-______-''

He's not the only person suggesting that.

Akak lab also keeps asking me the same thing.

Their reasons: So that I can have someone to take care of me.

Do I appear as too fragile or what? LOL

No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yourself "There's no point to carry on", no matter how many people tell you that you can't do it - keep going. Don't quit.

Don't quit, because a month from now, you'll be that much closer to your goal than you are now. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Make today counts. 

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Apologies to several of you who have previously requested to follow me on Twitter.

It is just a place for me to thank DCTP for their awesome work and most of the time, to vent my feelings. Those tweets are usually something I'd regret if I say them out loud, hence they are protected (sometimes, I'd delete them as well after realizing how ridiculous they are).

If you are approved, it's either :

1. You are DCTP-related.
2. I don't care at all about what you think of me.

3. I trust you enough to let you see the vulnerable side of me.

There are some other reasons, but that's about all I can think of now.

It's a good thing for you to not following me there.

Less dramas, less annoyance.

No hard feelings, okay? :)

Chill yo!

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Money, money please come to me.

Car installment, internet / electric / water bills, house fee, new desk and new bed.

Poorfag now. HAHA.

Awesomeness.

 

This is as far as I can go.

It's your call.

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I hate developing something, only to have me getting rid of it eventually.

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When is the best time to tell someone you love him?

Answer : Before someone else does.

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A place to call my own. :)

 

Finally I have a bench of my own for my work in the lab. Whee :D
And, I have to label every equipment with my name as well.

I am not really possessive when it comes to things, (I am more possessive when it comes to people though *cough* :P) but somehow, having all these stuffs with my name on it is somewhat intriguing.
Getting excited over such trivial things, I must have lost my mind. -_-''

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Hey you,

Me liking English doesn't necessarily implying that I'm good at it, for which I am not.

Whoever you are, be careful of what you blurted out.

You are giving false impression about me to other people who doesn't even know me.

When the impression is eons away from the reality, people are going to be disappointed whenever their expectation couldn't be met. 

And, I can't keep on disappointing myself either.

Life is not a book, it doesn't have cover for us to judge easily. 

Do not assume neither judge things that you are uncertain of.

- Zamri Zainudin, 2011
Facebook (c) 2011. English (UK)

p/s Cited as you wish. :P

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Godspeed!

Troubles love me too much, so I ended up focusing all my energy and time (and efforts, of course) solving them instead of the real task I have to.
Unfortunately, luck is never on my side as well.

I am praying for strength and wisdom, for I believe these two are what I need the most at present time.

And, I have decided that, regardless of what's going to happen, 

I'm just going to cherish what I have now.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life if about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

- Gilda Redner

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'nuff said.

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Had an outburst earlier.

andifeellikequitting,forthefirsttime.

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今まで。

I realize that I'm a tad bit slow, lost at the same time and my work hasn't really progress lately.

Weekend, weekend, please hurry up.

I'm gonna do a lot of thinking and self-reflecting before I can start afresh, hopefully.

As much as I wish to blame the distractions, I guess it's really my motivation, for only God knows where it went.

さよなら, strange infatuation.

今まで、ありがとう。:)

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In just a week's time,  there goes the 7th (and also the last) one.

I am awesome. :/

Sometimes, you know, a day is bad, and you think it couldn't get any worse, and then suddenly you discover whole new ways it can get worse. 

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The next time you're thinking of having a pet, go get yourself a plushie. 

Soft toys...anything. As long as they are not living.

ごめんね、little creature. ごめんね、you. :(

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Monday rage.

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faux pas!

"K" 

is definitely on top of my list of the most hated replies.

There's nothing to it, really.

 "lol" by itself 

would be next. 

It's pretty much self-explanatory. 

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My happy pills.

Hey you, 
thanks for the little ones. :)

That was totally unexpected, haha..

I could sit all day and just watch them.

Please be good to me and live well. ♥

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As soon as you stop thinking about them, they'll send you a text message or they'll call you, because they know you just stop thinking about them, it's like a radar. - The Hills

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ambivalence

I think I need to mull it over and get my feelings sorted out. 

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As of today..

I am sorry. :'(

I was completely fine when I was in the lab.

...and then it hits me.

Turn the frown upside down. :)

Be strong, be stronger.

^ Thank you for these kind words. 

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|| Ten rules for being human

 

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are also enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life".

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work".

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better place than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

~ Cherie Carter-Scott

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Reality bites, doesn't it?

 

‎"Real scientists never enter a lab. We work our whole lives to become, if we're lucky, managers of sorts. We oversee, we organize, and we teach. We attend meetings and send e-mails. We think, we write, we debate, we format, and we complain. The day-to-day job of a scientist -- a real one -- isn't too different from that of, say, an insurance claims adjuster. 

And the actual science? Well, that's why we have graduate students."

- Adam Ruben, Ph.D, Science mag.

Getting a good offer only means you are a big fish in a small pond.

So many other people out there are as good or even better than you.

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What letting go is and isn't.

 

Share what you think is right.. share what ever that you have faith in as the truth.. as sweet as any words might be, there could be mistakes in it.. and we are accountable on every words that we spread.. :)

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Noted.

"First and foremost, you can run away from it all you like, but the memory will always remain, you can forget about things but people are far harder, because for every person you meet, they will inevitably change your life in some way. I don't care if it is online or in person, interactions with people have a profound effect. So regardless of whether you stay or go, the memory will always remain, just keep that in mind."

- Kyuuketsuki (DCTP)

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ほんとうにありがとう！

I thought I'd forget if I didn't mention it here.
So, today I am really really thankful for these people:

x Kak Ain, as always.

x Fana

x Tiqah

x Kak Siti

x Umi + Abah

and somehow, someone I barely know..for listening. 

Not really listening, but yeah..

Thank you, Allah!

:)

Word of the day has to be this- PATENT

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Wordless Wednesday #4

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Self-rewarding sounds convincing.
A reward per se is tempting enough, so I'm gonna give it a go.

I will trust in you about this and see how well it goes. ;) 

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Sincerely, me.

What I've come to realize is that, in essence, how childish I am.
Reflecting on how I behave recently, I feel so embarrassed for all my whining, rants and complaints.

I'll start working on my emotional resilience.
And, of course, I need to find another reason as to what I am pursuing, since the last one is kinda blurry. Hehe..

がんばります！＾＾

Fine-tuning my life, it is. ;)

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Snippets.

Warning: Negativity alert! My apologies! 

1. Why are you trying to de-motivate me when I am already all scared and freaked out? 

2. I don't even know why Encik W hates me. Forcing me to admit that I am being irresponsible. Lecturing me twice, when it wasn't even my fault. I was just asking a question, for heaven's sake! Demanding me to apologize for stuff I didn't do, that was nonsense. If it is my fault, you don't even have to ask for it, I would honestly do so. 

3. Put certain things aside, I think I love it here. 

4. In today's Statistic & Research Methodology class, Prof. H asked a question, and he promised to give 5% of the total marks in final exam to whomever manage to answer.  The actual answer is a combination of my answer and a Chinese guy in the class. I got 3% for being partially correct but he didn't get any. D:

5. I managed to re-enroll in the above class, despite me being an outsider (I have registered, but the system rejected my name since they hardly allow any student outside of their faculty to register, plus the class has already reach its maximum number of student). Thanks Prof. H and Kak Ida for your help! :') Too bad Kak Ain couldn't make it. Otherwise, I won't be alone in the class anymore. 

6. So I guess statistics love me, despite me hating the subject. XD

7. I kinda admire someone for his excellent command of English and his simple reason for doing research, but I am getting clingy due to his familiarity with the system and all. I shall stop pestering now, for I think I am already such a major annoyance. 

8. I am not excited at all for my convocation.

9. Getting super tanned and my skin complexion is getting worse. And oh, my weight. :/

10. I might need to betray you, hence my early apology. ごめなさい。ほうんとうに。 ><

11. I miss my tumblr and DCTP. ;_;

12. I am really envious of those in USM Penang. 

13. I'm in dire need of lotsssa chocolate and cakes.

14. Went to animal house this afternoon, wearing my USM lab coat. When I got there, the chit-chatting stopped and they were all silently doing their job, awkwardly. After a while, one of the guy came to me and said, "Ah, so you are also a student? We thought you are a visitor from USM, that's why we behave ourselves and handle the animals nicely,..Kena jaga reputation UPM." LMAO. I'll get my lab coat soon lah. XD

15. I've missed several friends' weddings since I'm stranded here. Still, congratulations to all of you, for finding your soul mates.  :')

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Insecure + Vulnerable

As of now, I am constantly doubting myself, thanks to all those whys and what ifs.

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Looks like I'm having trouble with almost everything here.
From course registration, applying for convocation leave, research project and all.
T______________T
I've figured out about the transportation in the campus, so that basically ease me a lot.
I'm grateful for everyone who have helped me so far.
Especially to those who have to bear with my whining.

Thanks guys. :')

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Facelift? Bleh.

Apparently I messed up the whole thing, which ended up  with me changing the layout.

And it turns out like this. :V
Too colorful to my liking though. 

I've just realized that the "reply" button is not functioning.
I shall leave it like that for I have an important matter to attend to.

Plus, I don't know how to fix that thing either. :P  

Things are going to get tougher from now onwards.
I know that much and all I am asking for is the perseverance while getting through it.

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Hey you!
Stop whatever you think you're doing.
Go away, you fiend!
As if I don't have enough problems to deal with.
Pftt~

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Happy Eid!

I know, I know...Too amateur. :V

Nevertheless, I am too tired.

May the blessing of Allah brings you beautiful moments and all life's best.

Wishing everyone an Eid filled with love and happiness.
 Have a wonderful one! 

*faint*

I regret for not learning how to write in cursive properly.  

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もういっかい～

Last night's dream felt so real.

When it came to the best part...I woke up, of course. -_-''

Tried to sleep in, hoping it would continue..but to no avail. :P

The person, place, colors and the conversations were still vividly impressed on my memory.

How I wish it was real.

Given that it will never happen in real life, make me happy and come into my dream more often, will you??! xD
もういっかい。もういっかい。

I doubt so though. 

So, I shall treasure with my heart, while I still remember it~♥

Such an epic dream it was. :3

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Super late Wordless Wednesday #3

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Going down the memory lane, again.

It's at times like this that we would play around with the cheap fireworks we bought from the Bazaar, taking pictures, making the konon-konon video ucapan Hari Raya and fooling around till it's past midnight.

Last 2 years' pictures. :)

Last year's memories. :))

I was derping around my favorite site when I discovered this awesome song.
While listening to it, those moments flashed right back in, hence this sentimental post. :P

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days

Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

With this, I've realized how my life is creeping up on me. 

>,<

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Wordless Wednesday #2

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Wordless Wednesday #1

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The obligation of being loyal.

I have to remind myself that not everyone has the sense of loyalty and mutual responsibilities.

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You don't give up just because things are hard.

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Sometimes, it's fated.

source: tumblr

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Hitting the rough patch.

If I had chosen that path, reported myself at PPSP on the 14th, things would have been easier. Haha.

Much much much easier actually.

Everything is all set up.

The place, environment and people I am familiar with.

I do not want that. Not anymore. :P

Living too long in a comfort zone is sickening.

I know I shouldn't whine, it is my own decision after all..but this is difficult. ;_;

All these new things are driving me crazy for the more I read, the more stressful I become.

Couple of days have passed, and I am stuck on the same page.

Boo~

Now I'm having so much to worry about. ><

I need a de-stressing therapy.

Pronto.

Still, this is the type of stress that I've always like - the one that keeps me going and helps my work done. ;)

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Being independent.

"Now you asked me to stop being choosy, all for the reason that I'm now 23. Isn't it a reason enough for me to be choosier? If I'm looking for someone to settle down, I sure as hell want to make sure he's the right one. I believe that marriage is until death do us apart.Yes, I'm a crazy romantic...and for that I don't want to end up with the wrong one."

^Super love this..and you too, babe! :)

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Hello, baby!♥

Congratulations David and Victoria for the birth of Harper Seven Beckham!♥

I have loved these two ever since I was 13.

The Beckhams are always adorable.
And there's more of them now.

:3

Nak baby jugak.

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Why is everything so difficult?

(．＿．)

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pastéis de nata~

These were supposed to be Portuguese tarts.

which should look yummy like this.

Totally scrumptious. *drools*

But mine turned out like this.

And these.

Buruknyaa~

*sigh*

Obviously should improve on the pastries next time.

>,<

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