Now I don't feel like talking to anyone. Probably because I know talking doesn't really help?
So instead of complaining to someone, I'd rather bottle up my feelings, keep my thoughts all by myself and think, till it gets me nowhere.
Yes, I have walls build up between me and most people. I build walls because it is easier than letting someone in. The good thing about walls is that they keep out people, and most importantly they keep out hope as well.
No matter who comes into my life, I always never really let them it. Blocking people out and curling up inside by myself is like a second nature to me. It has nothing to do with friends, or believing all guys are the same or that some people will leave, because I know they are not.
Nobody knows what's going on inside my head. Sometimes, even I don't really know. Sometimes it's too confusing. Sometimes I am determined and it is clear what I want. But another moment, I don't know if I want it anymore.
Maybe it's just my insecurities.
Maybe I watched too many Disney movies, fairy tales, Cinderella and fancy Korean shits, but somehow it's gotten into my head that someday, the day will come where I finally will open up, everything will be clear, and eventually giving me my happy ending.
Maybe, just maybe...someone will come and save me not from evil step-sisters but from myself.
Maybe, someone will make this whole thing worth it.
But...how could I, grow up expecting this to happen?
1 comments:
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